I was heading over to visit the chiropractor yesterday when I ran into my friend Ruby. Ruby lives off the kindness of a local church who pays for her small room at a local flea bag hotel. Ruby really doesn’t know how old she is, but looks like she is in her mid 40’s. She roams the streets of our neighborhood rain or shine. Sometimes she is as lucid as you and I and other times she seems completely lost mentally.
The questions came rapid fire. “Can you please help me with some change?” I gave her a handful of quarters. “I’m really, really hungry, can you but me some lunch?” So I promised her a cheeseburger, fries and a coke. “I really need some clothes. I’ve been wearing these for too long and I can’t even do laundry because I have nothing to change into.” Well, I was getting a little annoyed at her many strident requests. But I remembered that I had promised her the last time I saw her that I would bring her a change of clothing. So I said, “Let me get to my appointment and afterwards I will bring you some food and clothing.”
She waited for me on a sidewalk that was bustling with neighbors and tourists due to the sun and the lunch hour. I bought her some food and brought a bag of shoes and clothing from home that was sure to satisfy her. I handed it to her expecting another barrage of requests. She looked into the bag with surprise. “Oh thank you so much! God bless you, Jesus bless you! Oh, I’m so happy! Thank you, God bless you!” she effused. “You are welcome, Ruby,” I replied.
“Can I hug you?” she said. She looked down at herself. Furiously scratching at her head, Ruby began to hesitate as she surveyed the real estate of her filthy stained clothing. In a nano second I was also surveying my real estate, the real estate of the heart. Why was I hesitant? Would Ruby’s head lice invade my dreadlocks? Would my hipster neighbors think I was a fool for engaging in a body to body, head to head hug with this indigent woman who had a reputation for public craziness? Would I regret stepping more deeply into her world of pain, poverty and mental illness?
She looked up at me wondering what would come next. “I still want to hug you,” she said sheepishly. “Of course, Ruby, I would love to get a hug from you!” We embraced and she hung on to me much longer than my comfort allowed.
And my head has itched ever since.
1908… there it was carved in the sidewalk, proof that my neighborhood is an aging duchess. It is perfectly obvious that she is old when one surveys the houses that were once proud and beautiful but now show up as awkward remodels or in serious disrepair. My imagination runs wild as I ruminate on who has trod our sidewalks in years past. Women in hoop skirts and bustles, men tying up their horsed coaches to the metal rings also still embedding in the sidewalks. These charming remnants of the past are evidence that the sidewalks have not been renewed… ever. These walkways are old, cracked and swollen with roots from trees who are just as old, turning a pleasant walk down the street into an athletic adventure at times. So it was with great surprise that as I headed out on my geriatric jog one morning, I heard a small voice in my head say, “Look up.” My immediate thought was, “I wonder how crowded the emergency room is right now.” No, I would not “Look up.” Then it came again and again, “Look up, focus on the horizon.” I began to wonder if this was some kind of learning moment…from God… maybe.
So I obeyed the voice. I focused on the horizon. It was difficult at first but after weeks of rehearsal I eventually trained my eyes. I found that I could survey the ground for snags with my peripheral vision. I also discovered that when my eyes were fixed on the horizon my steps grew longer and my arms pumped harder… I ran faster. I noticed that sometimes the horizon was impossible to sort out. So I pretended like there was a horizon even if I could see it. I learned that if my eyes act like it is there the rest of my faculties will work hard to get me there more quickly than when I watch the ground beneath my feet. The detritus on the sidewalk sometimes tripped me up a bit but I have not yet fallen.
I wonder if sometimes I care too much for inconsequential things and allow my focus to be so immediate that the big picture gets lost so that I no longer recognize the horizon. I also wonder if I need to live in absolute certainty about what is out there or can I just move forward with light expectations and flow with the rhythms of the run. And what happens to the little distractions if I no longer give them credence? What happens to the run? What happens to me in this process?
By the way, I no longer go for little geriatric jogs. I am a sprinter now… big difference!
Welcome to my new blog! My hope is that we will journey together towards to the horizon even though it is not always understandable or clear. Cheers to a future together of faith and surprises.